I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
