either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
