There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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