i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
