Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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