Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
