K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
