I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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