eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
