TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
