May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
