from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
