I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
