new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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