If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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