nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
