no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
