She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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