Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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