all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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