Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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