tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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