I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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