I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
