as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
