I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
