I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
