Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
