yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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