walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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