college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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