DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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