Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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