What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
