So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
