i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
