I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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