so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize