He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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