You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize