I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
