how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize