i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
