I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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