so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
