I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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