he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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