i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it because I queefed?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
