i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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