My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
