I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize