Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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