well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
