We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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