brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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