brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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