we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
