Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
