Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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