can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
