So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Randomize
