So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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